Tunnel of Demons
Within the space of our own minds there lie mysteries. Why can’t I seem to stop eating candy? Why do I dislike others so intensely? Why do I get sad when it rains, and happy when its sunny (or the reverse)? The simplest explanation for all of these phenomenon lies in the neural circuitry itself. These things happen because certain circuits are fired in response to certain stimuli. When these circuits are fired often enough, we begin to develop an aggregate personality based on their habitual firings. Our personalities largely derive from our habits, our exposures and our imprints.
In the parlance of forgotten shelves and dusty grimoires demon has the definition of some external entity in some overlapping subtle realm that has the power to possess and control our behavior when undignified, and to grant us suprahuman abilities and knowledge for a price when dignified or contained. Among many dualists, the word demon connotes a class of such entities that are somehow evil or malign in direct opposition to forces of good and ultimately humanity. An earlier definition, the greek: daimon, latin: daemon, refers to any divinity, or lesser spirit, or tutelary deity.
The elaborate procedures utilized in order to either affect a possession experience, or communication with a specific entity turn on specific neural circuits in a specific sequence so that they either override the ‘normal’ map of personality or project themselves onto the screen of external reality. A certain program, enacted in the physical world, increases the likelihood of execution of certain other embedded programs. These strange programs can aid in rewiring the mundane habits of circuitry. They seem to have their best effect when used in the short term and many (not all) long term users tend to develop unpleasant side effects from lengthy ritual procedure. Due to the habits of common ancestors the anatomy of each homo sapien has enough similarity that most of us contain the capacity for many of the same connections in circuitry. Modern science indicates that humans have grown all of the neurons we get for an entire lifetime either before birth or shortly after being born. The combining and synapsing of these billions of circuits occurs until the day we die.
‘Demon’ conveniently classifies certain neural programs as those which are most effective at ripping old circuitry apart and forcefully plugging in and making new circuits in somewhat unpredictable sequences of predictable patterns. Agony, obsession, anger, strange sensations, unusual thoughts, and feeling of other can occur as a direct result of these unpredictable sequences and will remain if the chosen program is aborted early and not completed. Discipline and trust in one’s person, as well as a firm situating in the buddhi are a solution to enduring this process.
Just as each cell has a program for it’s death written in its dna, human beings have circuits that, when fired in a series or consistently fired, have a tendency toward enacting destructive behavior. These destructive circuits exist within all of us to some extent. The skillful practitioner, long in the tooth in the practice of external visualization can work himself into a trance state, fire a demonic circuit and project it outward, giving it a physical appearance. If the practitioner, after much hard discipline, can remain detached from the experience, and is well situated in the buddhi, this experience can give much insight into the inner workings of his own person, can alight intuition, etc. By externalizing this force, the beneficial aspects of the circuitry can be exemplified, while the destructive aspects are mitigated.
I followed Crowley’s structure and as I worked I mutated it into my own utilizing intuition. Success was determined by a certain series of specific sensations during ritualized movements that I was able to replicate each time. I convinced myself that these sensations meant it was working and that I would then have the ability to visualize my circuitry and affect forceful changes. These changes were intuitive and therefore logically unpredictable, the space they took place required there be so little normal consciousness that the changes dripped their way onto my internal screen as shadowy figures, women with swords and bloody hands that threatened to cut off my head if I couldn’t remain still. I trusted that whatever changes took place were necessary and wouldn’t turn me into some type of human disaster. I think maybe it worked, but still often feel like a human disaster.
After many months of finally, successfully, enacting the firing of this strange circuitry it seemed as though I had some clairvoyant ability, saying what someone else was thinking frequently, having the ability to tell who was about to arrive, like I was just above and able to view the horizon from anywhere. That a specific series of circuits were consistently fired in my neuroanatomy during this period I have no doubt. That I possessed, for this time, some ability above and beyond? Strange circuit firings will alter one’s lookout, or process of perception. The program that ran could have enabled my belief in these things so strongly that it seemed they occurred while back in consensus reality...